I’ve had some conversation lately about rituals, and marking. Specifically as they relate to Dominant/submissive scenes, play and ritual. In particular, the shaving thing. Let’s talk about this for a moment. I’m going to work through this as if it were a dominant male and submissive female, using pronouns that way, but of course your milage may vary.
First, there’s a dom and a sub. The dom wants to show dominance, the sub wants to show submission. One way to do this is for the dominant to exercise control over the submissive’s body. There are a mind-numbing number of ways this can done, but “marking” is popular. Some people use the term “marking” to denote piss-play… I guess that could kind of apply, but I’m not really talking about that.
For me, marking is leaving a mark, showing in some physical way that you have control over a submissive. In middle school we traded hickeys back and forth; this was a kind of childish marking, but a great example. Grown-up marking can involve having her wear specific jewelry, writing on her with a Sharpie, or for the more serious players tattoos or piercings.
It could also include changing her hairstyle, which is probably a bit more radical. If she has a long mane and as a dominant you chop off her hair ( or better yet, have it done at a salon ) and now she has a sporty new pixie cut, you’ve definitely marked her, asserted your control over her body and left a physical sign of this.
Another less public, less intense way of doing this with the natural equipment she already has is shaving her pubic hair, or arranging it in a way that is something you decide, not her.
If she’s natural or trimmed, you could shave her. If she’s bare, you could have her grow it out and then sculpt her in a way thats pleasing to you. This is a sign of control over her body, but it can be much more.
Think of the intimacy that comes with the experience of shaving her pubic hair. She has to open her legs, remain still. She certainly has to trust you ( you’re worthy of her trust, right? ) And then you take this very sharp thing to a very sensitive part of her body, and do your work. You leave a design, so to speak. your mark. If it’s different than how she does it, she’ll notice that. It’ll be a constant remind her in a very private place of your control over her body.
The ritual of shaving alone can be special and bonding, and can show dominance and submission. She gets ready, ;lays everything outdoor him, gets into the proper pose and awaits his tending to her. He examines her, telling her what he likes, what he wants to change, and talks her through it. Whatever the nature of your D/s relationship is, certainly there’s an appraise way to give voice to this during her shaving. Warm and caring, cruel and humiliating. Or whatever your thing is.
Plenty of chance for play, teasing, denial, and discipline here.
Then clean her up, and look at your handiwork. In a few days, repeat.