being marked as his – the post

by Parker Dupris


More on the subject of rituals, lately I’ve been thinking about the idea of marking her, endowing her with some sign of being mastered, dominated, or being owned. I understand there are many levels at play here, different assignments of intensity and “ownership.”  I’m not thinking too much here about “how much” she’s owned, but rather just about the visible sign that she is.

The marking.

Imagine a dominant man and a submissive woman have a relationship such that she surrenders some of her freedom to him. This can be an occasional thing like bedroom play, or it can be more serious… more of an investment on both their parts. In our lives this is consensual, born of trust, and a thing of beauty. In fiction or fantasy it can be something darker all together; a taking, and appropriation through strength and will.

We have signs attributing ownership already – engagement and wedding rings, heart pendants, hickies. I’m talking about kinkier marks.

One of the traditional rituals associated with ownership is the marking of property or territory. For the owner, it’s an exercise and a visible show of control, of egis. For the submissive, it’s just as physical a sign. It can say that she’s surrendered to him, that she acknowledges his dominion over her in some ways. When she’s away from him, the mark is a hallmark that says he’s still with her, that his will still covers and commands her.

It can be comforting to both of them.

How do you mark her as yours?

Some marks are temporary. Some marks are subtle, while others would definitely draw eyes and whispers in polite society. Like oil on a canvas, each has a color, conveys a different mood, each describes a different form of ownership.

Thumb rings through collars, welts and facials.

It is a primal urge to make what’s yours. I’d go further and say that its just as primal to accept the mark, to wear it with the knowledge of being owned.

From her point of view, I enjoy the idea that she revels in being marked as mine. That she feels like the mark is enduring, carries a bit of me with it, but also that it has to be renewed somehow.

How do you feel about it?

Be sure to check out the gallery that goes with this post. I’m still sorting out a few aspects of this particular wordpress theme. Obviously.