write an erotica review
by Parker Dupris
Retail reviews are the comments by any product that people might buy online. Most every product offered for sale on the web has the ability to be reviewed on the site that the thing is sold on, and there are many many sites where you can review items you bought anywhere.
Reviews are crazy-important to the buying process; for the seller they provide a source of credibility, as if to say “come and write down what you thought of my thingy here, so other people will know about it. I trust that it’s awesome, and you’ll tell others that it’s awesome.”
Maybe it is awesome, and you tell the world by writing a review. Maybe it’s only a little awesome, or maybe it sucks and you want to tell the world how pissed you are for spending $5 on a rubber ducky that doesn’t float. “Fuck you, Rubber Ducky Selling Dude – my duck does not float!” in this way the reviews are valuable for the customer, alerting you to crap things but also showing you that something might be a really good purchase.
Of course there’s all sorts of nuance to this; sometimes the competition writes a bad review of something because they want you to buy their Rubber Duckie. Sometimes someone writes a bad review because they have an ax to grind ( “This guy is clearly from Some Foreign Country!” ) or their retarded “This rubber duckie doesn’t come in Blue-Ray!” ) or perhaps they had a genuinely bad experience.
There is also no shortage of instances where reviews are fake, most likely purchased by the author because so much of the customer’s buying decision is influenced by the presence ( or absence ) of good reviews. Sometimes you can spot the fake ones: “This electronic dish-washing device is glorious like the sun!” is probably not a legitimate positive review for a Sears dishwasher.
Why we’re here today
I assume you’re here because you read erotica. I’d be awesome if you read mine, but maybe you haven’t had the pleasure yet. I’m asking you nicely as one disconnected human being on this great Interweb to another to write a review of one of the pieces of erotica you’ve read; it doesn’t have to be mine- it can be anyone’s. But write a review and help an author you like. Try to write a positive review; talk about what you like about the piece, and give good and helpful criticism if you need to. If you feel like you can’t give a positive review to one story, write one about a story you can.
This helps the universe, and makes you an even better person than you are.
If you happen to review one of my stories on Amazon 9 or wherever ) I’ll send you a story that I don’t have for sale, and is not linked anywhere else as a kind of “thank you” for the effort. Do two and drop me a note and we’ll have an email talk about a story you’d like to see. Do more than two reviews and… we’ll talk : D